the guy who made this bumper sticker is smarter than our president

Here I go getting political. I can't help it.

So, I pull into the parking lot of a Chinese restaurant tonight. Parked in the space next to me is an inconspicuous minivan. Without much observation, the average asshole would think: soccer mom, gay dad, or poor college kid, but upon closer inspection, I found that perhaps the crabrangoon loving mini van driver had a brain after all. There, on the back left window, was a bumper sticker. It shone through the darkness of the rainy night with its patriotic colors and announced proudly, "You are not entitled to what I have earned." Profound.

Odd though that a person with such understanding of capitalism was stuck driving this schmucky van, its panels dented, paint scratched, and its insides undoubtedly wreaking of left over Chinese food. Mean while, the leader of the free world cant wrap his brain around the fact that I work for what I have and therefore it is MINE...not YOURS.

Tucking this quote into the corner of my devious mind, I walk through the doors of the restaurant to greet my family - a very select few members of society who may actually know more than I do. We eat, drink...drink some more, and then ask for the bill. When it comes, I find that of all the fortunes found inside the tasteless cookies that have been presented to us, none compares to the insight granted by a bumper sticker that I had seen only an hour before. Being the demon child that I am, I start to question the sanity of even my own family.

I ordered an appetizer and had a Captain and Coke... yet, when it came time to pay the bill, my so-called "Capitalist" father decided we should split it equally... each of us paying one tenth of the total. Fine, right? So what that he ate a few more chicken wings than me, my aunt sprung for a pina colada, and Joey opted for a second cocktail. I paid my bill, the whole one tenth...all the while thinking "You are not entitled to what I have earned."

I don't know if you're stupid, or you just don't think.

After sitting through painfully dull, and agonizingly moronic conversations for the past twenty two years, I have come to the very powerful realization that I am smarter than most people. That being said, I want you to know that I am no physicist, nor rocket scientist, but I have common sense that, shockingly, is more sensible than most. Mind you, I am twenty two years old, I have a high school diploma, a few years of college, and a reputation for drinking excessively. Yet, I am certain that my ability to understand the obvious surpasses that of congressmen, college professors, moms, dads, Rabbi's, crack heads, professional athletes and most everyone in between.

So, now that you know this, I trust that the insight that is to come will not only enlighten you, it will also give you a new found confidence, that you too, are [hopefully] more intelligent than most people that you interact with daily...yes, even that snotty bitch who walks around the office like she's screwing the boss. She probably is - that doesn't make her smarter, it makes her a whore.